The last one date

Today is a special day in the story of my life: 4 years ago today, I went sailing in the New York harbor with a guy I had met only once, 4 weeks before and by the end of that sailing trip, I decided it would not be our last date. Luckily for me, he had come to the same conclusion (note: 4 hours solid on a boat with someone you don't know can understandably raise anxiety in some individuals, but one has to take risks if you ask me - and the New York harbor's view from a sailboat is well worth it ;).

While technically it was not our first real 'date', we have defined this was as our anniversary as it was the day we made a first step towards each others and towards the idea of forming a relationship (for the record: it was just an afternoon date). I think in each relationship, the concept of 'first date' and what you define as being THAT day vs another greatly varies. Understandably, the second date for most couples might not mean much while it was enough for us to consider it as something (I suspect it to be highly related to the fact we are both European and do not get the dating game as well as our American counterparts). 

Looking back now, I also remember our first date very clearly, and with a certain nostalgia, as it was somehow, my last first date. It sounds a little dramatic to say that (I still consider myself young, although I cannot figure out Snapchat) but this is somewhat what you wish for when deciding to marry someone, or more simply when you meet the person you consider spending the rest of your life with. Earlier this week, a friend of mine commented on the fact we live in a society where we are highly driven by the outcome, more than the process. Since, I look at the dating scene and my single friends with a very different perspective. They are living a process and a status I enjoyed but probably not enough. As once you have spent that last first date (which remains a mystery and will actually BECOME the last one only retro-actively), you are getting yourself into a totally different mindset to keep that relationship alive. But again, here as well it is all about the process, not about the outcome. 

One last random thought to wrap up this rather de-constructed post: in a city like New York where there are so many single people and yet dating can be a very complex experience, it takes only one: one date, one person, deal. I appreciate how fortunate I am to have met the one in question but if I did, and so many people do enjoy the process of being in relationships for a while, it can happen to anyone. Speaking of which, my one is waiting for me to drink some Champagne. :)