2000 miles

Over Christmas time, we all put to the test our wrapping skills…
I have to confess I am pretty bad at it. I just hate doing this even though I like the glimpse of curiosity in one’s eye when you actually hand a wrapped up present.
And this year I should try to seriously improve as I am gonna carry on wrapping up even after Xmas.

This year will be the last time I will spend Xmas in the place I was brought up.

So I am basically gonna be asked to sort out in a fairly short amount of time almost 26 years of my life and put my childhood into boxes. For it to be moved to another place I don’t really want to know about.
I have nothing wrong with that as I have been used to throw things away and already gave up on pretty much everything I had when I left for the UK nearly three years ago.
So I know all this shit does not really matter…
And at the end of the day, only feelings, thoughts, what we keep in our hearts is all that matters. Like what remains when someone has gone…
But still.
This time, I would have liked to have more time to do it.

Just a feeling of unfairness as my sisters got almost 10 years more than me in their lives to do so and have already children to give their stuff to. Had the chance to see them laughing and running around this garden. Enjoying it as much as we did. Playing hide and seek and counting down under the same tree, going to hide to the same place… Checking out the nest-building of a couple of blue birds every year in the pump of the well, listening to the birds when spring comes and running after the butterflies attracted by the blossoming trees.

There are just walls I know but as ridiculous it might sound, there were mine. Ours. Home where we lived as a family once, back in the days… Even if it has not been for long.
Even if this house is full of bad memories, the good ones are enough to make me forget about the bad vibes.
And because the last time I saw it it was for a bad reason, and I was already imagining coming back in June this year to make it up, to move on…
I won’t.

Nothing will ever be the same again.
May be for the best.