Holy Cow

For the real animal-lover I am, travelling across a country with a religion based on animals is a blessing and really gives you other prospectives about life without reading any self-help-book-bullshit. It might also explain why India is heaven for veggies. The hollyness of most animals makes that there is hardly ever meat on the menu and in some pilgrimage city you cannot even have it (neither alcohol which is easier to understand. Gods can’t be bothered listening to prayers of drunk people). It is by the way in this city that it took me 10 minutes to be able to step into a café because of a cow standing on the doorstep and that did not want to move its arse.

Anyway, since my belief in religion is fairly limited (even if I have to say, I found fascinating the devotion displayed over there), I will not extensively explain the deep meaning of such an animalistic loving faith. No way. I will as usual get back to desperately down-to-earth considerations that some of you may find of the highest importance. Especially the coprophilic children who sleep within each of us. I obviously want to talk about the cowpat.

As a matter of fact, I was expecting the Indian city to be stinking cow shit all over since the number of animals probably overcome the number of inhabitants (there are over a billion now so I let you imagine). And what a surprise to realise that not at all. I was nearly disappointed. Either in the heat of the coast, the dump mountains, nothing seems to make stand out the fragance of such a holy substance (because indeed, hindous spread the ashes of cowpat over the heads of status, especially Ganesh… I did not know that elephants and cows had such deviant practices but anyway…)

So to explain this strange phenomenon, several solutions came to my mind:

- Cows over there don’t shit (and since there are all really skinny and don’t seem to eat that much, that would not be a surprise) and suffer from a chronical constipation

- The fact to be a sacred animal makes their excrements smell-less

- As self-conscious animals, they consider shitting in the street inappropriate for their own self-esteem

- I got so used to it that I did not even notice it after a couple of hours.

As far as I have understood, cowpat does not necessarily have the reputation to be one of the most horrible substances smell-wise in England. You can’t even imagine how luck you are, guys. Cause I promise that this smell in the countryside where I was brought up in France inevitably made me become a city-lover. But since I like to find explanations to everything, I reckon this is the price to pay to produce the stinkiest - therefore the best - cheeses in the world.

Due to fermentation reluctance, India has bannished any sorts of cheese so the real explanation might be there then. They will never have the pleasure to discover the smile of the Laughing Cow :)

“Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said: “I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?” - Calvin & Hobbes